I decided that perhaps writing about my dating experiences will somehow help me in some small way. Maybe instill some sort of clarity of what I am doing wrong, need to be doing or help me come to some sort of magical realization on how to meet that perfect guy just for me. Well, there has to be one perfect gem in the 3.5 billion men out there just for me. Right?
It’s like some sort of self discovery as I go along. No one is a true expert in the dating world, it’s like we’re all participating in one big experiment and sharing our outcomes.
Everyone has an opinion, even if not wanted. Frankly, I’m not asking anymore. But thanks anyways. I have now become an expert of sorts. In my own mind.
I have gone through various theories of dating (or lack thereof) during these past years. I have done the online dating sites more then I care to admit so whether my theories have become more cynical because of it, I’m not too sure. But I can say this… online experiences have given me plenty to talk about. (always gotta look at the positive, isn’t that what they say?)
When I first signed onto a dating site I was so cautious, timid and shy about it. When I did come across the rare guy whom I was interested in and we started to communicate, he would ask to meet after 2 messages and I would be all like, “oh my gosh, I need to know your whole life history before that happens silly!”
Yeah, that strategy really doesn’t work I have to warn you! When you finally do meet in person you now have nothing to talk about and it’s super awkward because you are face to face with a stranger first time meeting yet you know everything about them via typed messages.
I would only meet guys I found attractive regardless of my mother and everyone else saying “Don’t be dating only the good looking model types, you’re being way too picky and letting all of the good ones slip by!” Okay, firstly, I wasn’t dating only good looking model types. Puh-leease. I was dating guys I found attractive. Hardly model types. Secondly, what is wrong with choosing men who you find attractive? Is that so wrong?
Now, I should insert here that finding an attractive man who doesn’t act like he’s all attractive is a feat. There’s a big difference between being attractive and acting like he knows he’s attractive. You ladies know what I’m talkin about. Now that’s a challenge.
I remember being on a date with (let’s call him Frank), he was oh so handsome. He was the tall, dark handsome type they write about in romance novels. I thought I’d gone and hit the boyfriend, husband potential jack pot. That was until 40 minutes into meeting in person. This was in the beginning of my online dating days where I found out everything I felt was required before meeting face to face. I knew from his posted profile photos that he was very attractive. He was a professional volleyball player, university educated, well established business career, good family background, 2 siblings, never married but long term relationship that lasted 10 years. Check, check, and check. On paper, perfect. Pretty certain at this point I was probably going to marry this one.
When I walked up to meet him for the first time in the lounge of a high end hotel, he literally took my breath away. He said the same of me. Why thank you, I blush. So he’s a very sweet talker. Hmmmm. I’m silently thinking to myself, should we elope tonight or is that too soon? Wow. Taller then I expected. Always a nice surprise, a bonus. Gorgeous teeth (dental hygiene is a concern for me. Can’t help it.)
Leads me to the table where he has been waiting at. Ahhh, arrives earlier then me, good sign and a bonus point for that. Bottle of red wine awaits. He remembers from our numerous online typed chats that red wine is my favourite. Beautiful. Definitely another point for that.
Pretty certain I’m already in love. Thanking my lucky stars.
It’s difficult not to get too overly excited or to start planning our wedding in my mind as I sit down at the table. I can picture it all now, the images are flashing through my mind. The dress I would wear, nothing extremely fancy as it’s a beach wedding and I don’t want to have anything too extravagant. It is my second wedding after all. ‘Frank’ standing there in front of me holding my hand, all handsome looking. Wind blowing my hair. No, maybe I should wear it up, off of my face. Yes, definitely up.
I’m kind of giddy with nervous excitement as we engage in normal conversation. Did you find the hotel okay? Parking? Normal conversation flowed between us.
But then it was like 30 minutes into it I found myself realizing there probably wasn’t going to be that elopement tonight or ever.
I started to sense he really liked himself a lot more then he liked me. I told myself not to be so hasty or make assumptions about him. Perhaps he’s trying to impress me by telling me how great he is? That’s gotta be it. Oh, his eyes are so blue. I keep getting distracted by his beauty and I can’t concentrate on his constant stories of just how awesome he is.
Then for some reason I suddenly just see past his handsome-ness and can’t stand to listen to his voice any longer.
I agree to have some dinner. I did drive 30 minutes to get here after all and I’m a polite lady. That and I’m a sucker for giving people the benefit of the doubt. I’m hoping he surprises me and is just trying to impress me. He continues to talk about himself and all of his greatness and achievements. He hasn’t asked me anything about myself other then if I would be interested in possibly posing for some photos for him and his new business venture that involved beauty and health products. I’ll have to find out more about it I tell him, but I’m pretty positive at this point I’m never going to see him again after tonight.
His attractiveness disappeared right infront of my eyes like magic. I’ve never experienced that before. One extreme to the next within an hour!
Finding the whole package is like finding a rare gem. I’m searching for that special guy who has it all. Handsome (to me), an amazing personality, great sense of humour, smart and someone who I have chemistry with. That’s the key. Chemistry.
I know good looks is not everything and it’s all relative, but I still believe you have to be attracted to your partner. Obviously looks alone isn’t going to work. It’s the whole package that makes chemistry.
‘Frank’ is a very nice guy and is perfect for someone else out there. Just not for me.
I guess I have time to make those beach wedding plans after all.
Til next time all of you beautiful single ladies,