Play On Playa! Part 2.
Where did I leave off? Oh yes, ‘Ray‘ – the younger handsome guy I’ve been in and out of contact with for the past 6 years since my divorce.
Eventually contact between Ray and I became almost non exsistant. The odd text, ‘hey what’s up?’ or the rare ‘poke’ on Facebook. That was it. Seriously a poke? A ‘poke’ is like saying, “something triggered thoughts of you while I was browsing Facebook but I don’t really feel like saying an actual hello…or exert too much energy on you.”
I wouldn’t even respond most of the time.
Then a few months ago, I am once again single and back on a dreaded dating site. Out of the blue I received a message on this dating site from Ray! Weird. Wasn’t even the same dating site we initially met on years ago. Small world.
“Hey, fancy meeting you here!” he says. “I see you’re single again?”
Hmmmm? … Alright, I’ll bite because I have no self control apparently. I respond, but not right away. Screw that. I wait a couple of days. That’ll show him. I’m so very busy you know. Laundry, fixing things, uhhh, washing my hair…
Yes, I’m single again I tell him. We exchange a few emails back and forth on the dating site, he asks me out. Again. But it’s been like 4 years and 2 pretty serious relationships in between since I’ve really heard from him. But it’s not like we haven’t known what’s generally been going on in each others lives. Thank God for being Facebook buddies right? No more mystery or anonymity.
He asks me if I want to meet for a drink and catch up. He says he always had fun hangin with me and wonders why we lost touch. Ah yeah, forsure. I’m thinking the same damn thing. We did have lots of fun which is why I find it totally ironic you disappeared off the face of the earth without explanation. But hey, what’s 4 years between friends?
I tell him I’d let him know when I was available. I’m pretty busy you know, doing all kinds of … stuff. I wait a couple of days before replying. I let him know I am available the following week and give him a 2 day option, either Wednesday or Thursday evening after work. I purposely don’t include a weekend day even though I have absolutely no plans to speak of. He is definitely not worthy of a weekend day at this point. Weekends go by too quickly and are reserved for family or for someone who has earned that time slot in my life. I am calling the shots. By now I’ve read a few more books on dating, been on a variety of dates, therefore I feel a little wiser and carry just a little more confidence and experience under my belt.
One of my favourite dating books I read is, ‘Why Men Love Bitches’. It has all sorts of great dating advice and suggestions on what to do and what not do when it comes to dating men. Love that book. I decided to follow their suggestions. I’m all up to date on what a single female must do to have successful dating experiences and how to hopefully find and keep that one and only. Hey, its worth a try.
Ray chooses to meet Thursday. Good. Thursday works for me. I like Thursdays, they’re always a good day. I ponder what I should wear. It’s winter and cold. Casual jeans. No, too casual. Maybe a little dressier but not overly done. Hell yeah, of course I want him to take notice. I choose to wear tights so I can rock my new Steve Madden boots and pair that with a long black style coat. Perfect. Doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard yet I feel good about my choice.
We meet at 7pm. Guess where? At the same pub where we met for the first time 5 years ago. We both arrive and end up getting out of our vehicles at the same time. It’s like one of those romance movies where the couple walk towards eachother in great anticipation, eager to finally see eachother. Love is in the air, music is playing, birds chirping… okay, no that’s not true. It wasn’t like that at all. But it was definitely good to see him and he looked very handsome. I didn’t expect anything less as I had seen plenty pictures of him posted on Facebook during these past years.
We give each other a genuine embrace and I am surprised that I’m a little shaky from nerves. Only slightly. We make our way into the pub and we find a nice table tucked in the corner near the fireplace. Oddly it doesn’t seem the least bit awkward so I’m questioning my nervousness. Like uncontrollable slight shakiness. Odd.
We order drinks and he proceeds to order a variety of appetizers to share even though I can’t even think of food right now. I’m keeping my cool and we start to get into a good flow of conversation. That’s the thing with Ray and I, we genuinely like eachother and at times it’s as though we are just really, really good friends. Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the way it is.
Our conversation consists of everything. All the while avoiding any serious talk about ‘us’. That sounds crazy to even say ‘us’. There really was never an ‘us’. But ladies, you know how we women are. We want to put labels on things as to make sense of the situation. Or is that just me? In any regard…
My nerves settle and I feel calm. I’m sure the wine is contributing to that.
I finally decide to just come out and say it, “So, why do you think we stopped seeing eachother?” Whew. There, said it. Do you ever say something out loud and immediately wish you could just rewind, reword or just keep your mouth shut?
He pauses, laughs and makes some remark about me not wasting anytime getting right to it. It’s almost impossible to know what he is thinking or going to say but I feel slightly nervous what he might say.
“Hmmm…” he says, “I think it was because I was so immature but thought I was ready to settle down. I was no where near ready.”
That’s it? I think ‘Really?’ Okay, not sure how to respond to that. But you know, having a couple sips of wine and running thoughts through my mind, processing, I think he does have a point. He was young. Hell, he’s still young. Remembering back I recall how persistent he was and how convincing he was just to get me to meet him. Fact still remains, he was definitely young. That’s for sure. I suppose in the back of my mind these past years I was completely aware of this and therefore never let myself get completely emotionally involved. You know, me being the older, wiser more mature one and all.
Conversation continues, and it’s just so comfortable. We’ve talked so long, the pub is shutting down and closes for the night. The evening went by so very fast. He suggests I should come over so I can listen to his CD. A music project he invested a lot of his time, heart and soul into. He played the instruments and recorded the whole project. It’s funny because when we used to hang out we always had our love for music in common, our connection. We used to talk about music forever. Could never get enough.
“No, I don’t think its a good idea to come over tonight. It’s late. I have to get up early.” I’m saying out loud while internally thinking, yes, yes, I definitely want to come over. Most definitely yes. Why not?
Well, I’ll tell you why not. There’s probably at least a million reasons why not.
I stick to my word and I tell him that we’ll have to get together again soon. Perferably not in another 4 years. He insists that I should at least sit in his truck with him and listen to a couple of his songs before I go. I oblige as I am truly excited to hear his music accomplishment.
I say goodnight and we part ways. He says he’ll call.
Will you Ray? Are you really going to call?